Valentine's Day is actually the perfect time for a first date. Dating experts explain why, and how t

October 17, 2024

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Valentine's Day isn't just for established couples. The day can set the scene for a fun first date, a therapist says.
Dating experts suggest keeping things light with a drink or activity, like a game bar or arcade.
A casual vibe can make first-date expectations clear while creating a chance for connection during a time you may otherwise spend alone.

Spending Valentine's Day single and alone can feel like a bummer. But if you're seeking more excitement than a solo Netflix-and-chill session, the holiday is the perfect chance for a playful first date, according to dating experts.

"I encourage singles to get back into their childhood mindset around Valentine's Day where it was about cheesy candy hearts and silly decorations, and meant to be fun and whimsical," Sara Tick, a therapist and founder of men's dating coaching service Modern Meet, told Insider.

If you've been in a dating rut after a string of lackluster meetups, the holiday's focus on romance could also get you in a positive and flirty headspace, Rikki Dymond, a dating coach at dating app Flirtini, told Insider.

Since singles typically spend the day alone, you have nothing to lose if you ask someone on a Valentine's Day date, according to Tick.

And if you're concerned about coming on too strong too soon, Dymond and Tick said there are plenty of ways to set realistic expectations for this type of first date, whether you're asking over an app or in person.

Don't be afraid to lean into the lovey-dovey theme

The expectations that often come with Valentine's Day may feel intense, but there are ways to propose a lighthearted and casual meetup, said Tick.

She suggested calling out the cheesy elements of the holiday and committing to them as a humorous way to woo a match.

If you match online with someone you'd consider taking on a date, Tick suggested you say something like, "I was remembering how Valentine's Day used to be so fun in elementary school, when we'd pass out cards and eat lots of candy. Why don't we go out and I'll bring you the old-school chocolates in a cardboard heart box or your favorite candy? No pressure, let's just do something fun!"

This way, you immediately separate yourself from the serious couples celebrating the holiday in a committed way. At the same time, you're showing your thoughtful side with the candy, Tick said.

Skip dinner and keep the vibe casual to set expectations

If you're concerned that romantic Valentine's Day vibes could send the wrong message to a brand-new date, focus on keeping your meetup casual, Tick said.

She suggested planning a typical first date, like drinks at an intimate bar that's good for conversation, and skipping dinner, since it's a longer and more expensive date that could suggest a more serious tone.

"Sitting across the table from a stranger for a long, formal dinner puts a lot of pressure on both parties," Tick said.

You could also skip the traditional bar date for something more playful, like a trip to an arcade or game bar, according to Tick.

According to Dymond, a plan that leaves room for banter and adventure is a must, no matter the day you have a first date. She suggested meeting up at a spot that's new for you and your date, or trying a brand new experience together, as a foolproof way to keep things exciting.

Tick suggested brainstorming a couple of options and presenting them to your date so they can choose one that aligns with their personality and interests.

At the end of your date, thank your plus one for being a great Valentine, said Tick. If you'd like to see them again, tell them and suggest a more traditional and intimate activity for next date, like dinner and a movie or a concert followed by drinks and dessert, she said.

If you both enjoyed the date, you could also end it with a gentle kiss, Dymond said.

"Keep it chill, use humor to relieve the pressure, and go into it like you should any first date: as an opportunity to meet and connect with someone new. Who knows, it might even end with a super cute love story," she said.

Watch: 4 at-home Valentine's Day gift ideas

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